我沒想到。
                                                                               
---
                                                                               
                                                                               
時間是14:20。
                                                                               
14:35從樹林發車的莒光號列車即將抵達台北車站三號月台。
                                                                               
口袋裡揣著車票,130多塊錢的單程車票。
                                                                               
"為什麼不買區間車就好了呢?" 一邊怨恨自己。
                                                                               
時間還有十分鐘,我一邊快步走過台北車站地下街。
                                                                               
眼光飄移在打折的過季球鞋和沒打折的風漬書陣列之間。
                                                                               
在販賣轉蛋和娛樂性電視遊樂器的店家稍作駐足。
                                                                               
                                                                               
14:23。
神經質地又拿出手機看了一下時間。
                                                                               
我真的來了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
我買了一張130多元的莒光號座位車票,單程。
                                                                               
目的地是: 宜蘭。
                                                                               
                                                                               
---
                                                                               
我真的來了。
                                                                               
走入我自己所編撰的情節裡面。
---
                                                                               
                                                                               
大概三天以前,凌晨。
                                                                               
三點和三點半之際。
                                                                               
一些睡眠之前彌留之際的狂想對話情節,
                                                                               
困頓於心,蹦跳於目前,瀰漫在床際,
                                                                               
(總之睡不著啦。)
                                                                               
遂一躍而起身,進行一個情節的組合和型塑。
                                                                               
又一個。
                                                                               
                                                                               
我的電腦裡面這樣的篇章不勝枚舉。
                                                                               
我曾寫過一個攀爬在古老書堆中 寄居於圖書館裡
的人面蜘蛛。一個書讀太多而瘋癲的大學生,
於脅下長出節肢,股間也是。
                                                                               
變成一隻不折不扣的巨型蜘蛛,
                                                                               
嗅覺著陳舊書頁的好味道。
                                                                               
                                                                               
二十歲前後曾寫過一個拿著一柄銳利的寶劍的俠客,
在地圖的中國上畫出一道筆直的軌跡,

 
他,一人一騎,高舉著寶劍,不得不發 劍拔弩張
他的路線,騎術,馬,寶劍,和他自己已經合成一招無與倫比的攻勢
而對手在中國的另一端。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
也寫過一個系上的同學:
從來沒和她太熟,卻在大一時的一次惡夢
夢到她的死亡於舊總圖樓下。
遂一躍而起(自床頭),瘋狂的敲打鍵盤。
                                                                               
---
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我的電腦裡充塞著太多這樣的一躍而起。
                                                                               
多半發生在深夜,我和我自己講話講的正高興的時候,
                                                                               
一些也不知道算什麼的零碎畫面忽然鮮活起來。
                                                                               
我不一定會把它們寫出來,那得看我當天有多累,或有多不累。
                                                                               
                                                                               
這些東西,我有的會恬不知恥地發於文po於板。
                                                                               
並且在私自設想 他人閱讀過後必然的揣測和不解之後,
                                                                               
沒來由地自我優越了起來。(一隻手舞足蹈的小豬。)
                                                                               
而更多的我連po都沒敢po。
                                                                               
                                                                               
它們都像是一篇又一篇,三流小說的開頭。
                                                                               
而我停止,在它們敲撞腦殼並令我得到看似狂喜的某種狀態之後
                                                                               
多半熱情是消散的,撐不了多久。
                                                                               
好比那個劍客,原先我所想像(或想像敲擊我)
的畫面是一筆長長的烽煙,是馬蹄聲答答和沙塵連綴
                                                                               
從甘肅,
                                                                              
一直到廣東,
                                                                               
但我的動態描寫(對於俠客的具體情狀明顯脫胎於古龍)
以及這個看似有趣實則沒什麼好說的招式 (其靈感恰恰好來自金庸)
                                                                               
大概停止在蘭州。
(而我的注意力被另一個風情萬種的網頁所吸引,遂棄而忘之~)
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
又或是那隻住在圖書館內的人面巨型蜘蛛。
                                                                               
他根本沒能及時出現。
                                                                               
我的敘述卡在太陽如何在陳舊的書標和塵漫之間盤旋柔和 就,
                                                                               
                                                                               
就沒下文了。
                                                                               
(許是另一個風情萬種的網頁作祟?)
                                                                               
諸如此類的篇章,實在實在太多。
                                                                               
而它們,也活該只能被稱作三流的小說開頭。
                                                                               
什麼文類都不是,只是某個可能發生故事的開頭。
                                                                               
                                                                               
---
                                                                               
我本來以為這篇東西也是。
                                                                               
一篇藉著我眼下所經歷的情況,心情,想做的事情,
                                                                               
所建築的一個故事。
                                                                               
                                                                               
目前的我的確是研究所沒考上,
                                                                               
但在看完榜單的剎那我並沒有如同我所寫的那樣。
呆坐一整天。
                                                                               
我還滿正常的。
                                                                               
我其實還吃了我弟跑去買的涼麵和蛋餅,打開電視看小氣大財神。
                                                                               
                                                                               
而整篇故事,讀來的確像是一個
                                                                               
或許會有什麼事情發生的濫開頭。
                                                                               
一個考場失意的大學生。
                                                                               
搭上火車前往一個根本不遠的地方。
                                                                               
可以遇到任何事情。
                                                                               
我原本的打算甚至包括了 在火車上巧遇不知名美少女
                                                                               
在接下來的旅途裡
                                                                               
在某處的深山裡不知名的湖泊裡 不知名的老仙人坐在
某個不知名的老烏龜的龜背上
                                                                               
一個"搭火車前往某處"的開頭可以發生任何事情啊。
                                                                               
我甚至可以在火車上解決一個三流犯人所犯下的三流殺人案件後,
                                                                               
再和那位不知名的一流美少女一起,
                                                                               
在不知名的湖泊那裡學會,
我一流的神奇武功。
                                                                               
                                                                               
然後我就可以忘記我自己原本想要的是什麼,難過的又是什麼。
                                                                               
這是我理所當然的結尾,
                                                                               
聊以自慰才是重點。
                                                                               
(不不不,自慰才是。)

                                                                               
我並且在這篇看似契子的引言裡 加入了兩個逗趣的不存在的腳色,
                                                                               
快樂的遠洋漁民,許仔和阿旺,
                                                                               
我在想像 我自己坐在火車上 邊看著窗外無邊無際的海
一邊想像他們不存在卻逗趣的對話時,
                                                                               
不禁笑了,(那個坐在火車裡的想像的我也笑了; 那個美少女還沒出現所以笑不出來)
                                                                               
並且決定在後面的頁數(那些太過後面我永遠也不可能寫出來的頁數) 裡面
                                                                               
安插這兩個人物的出現。
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                

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