我走向這令人羨慕的吳X翔,半是沒話找話地 那麼一個來由,
                                                                               
"ㄟ,阿你怎麼不去跟大家搶? 你不喜歡Jolin嗎?"
                                                                               
衝著他問這麼一個問題。
                                                                               
                                                                               
想必當時的我,期待著一個比較酷的答案,
一個,有資格品嘗來自總統府女中粉綠口唇的
令人羨慕的人,所能說出的答案。
                                                                               
我期待著那種答案。
                                                                               
他一定不會告訴我:
                                                                               
"啊 等下英文要小考,我還沒唸。"
                                                                               
也不會是:
                                                                               
"Jolin是誰啊?" 這種不入流的答案。
                                                                               
他一定知道蔡Jolin。我是這樣想的。
而他,出於具有資格品嘗總統府女中粉綠口唇的驕傲,
                                                                               
選擇不去從眾。
                                                                               
人家沒那個必要去擠破頭分享一個尚未圓潤的肉體嘛。
                                                                               
他白皙的臉高挺的鼻,打籃球時不時拉一下竿
                                                                               
                                                                               
他幹嘛自找麻煩和一群小和尚搶肉吃呢?
                                                                               
在凱達格蘭大道和重慶南路交界那兒他吃的可是大魚大肉。
                                                                               
                                                                               
另一方面,我也期待他不說出 "啊 等下英文要小考"
這種好學生厚眼鏡的答案。
                                                                               
那太遜了,他如果講了,
                                                                               
就太越界了。
                                                                               
搶到屬於我這一塊的地盤。
                                                                                
這是來自我的厚重書本和油膩鏡片的自傲。
                                                                               
                                                                               
所以我等著呢,
                                                                               
有著這些期待和自尊,我等著他要說呢。
                                                                               
                                                                               
他回答了:
                                                                               
撥弄著五月天和拖拉庫,
                                                                               
這個有著高挺鼻樑白皙皮膚的帥哥說話了:
                                                                               
                                                                               
"啊。沒關係了。這種事啊,我早就看的很淡了。"
                                                                               
彈了幾個八拍, 繼續說:
                                                                               
"人生不就是那麼回事嗎?"
                                                                               
現在想來,這幾句話好像很正常。
                                                                               
好像很沒什麼,你可能在搭捷運的時候或是等廁所的時候
一不小心隔壁的歐里桑或是上班族就會對著
更隔壁的歐里桑或是手機裡的上班族這樣說著。
                                                                               
我想沒有人到現在還沒聽過這句話,或是類似的感嘆。
                                                                               
""人生不就是那麼回事嗎?"
                                                                               
                                                                               
彷彿他可以總結人生一樣。
                                                                               
他耶。是他耶。
                                                                               
這樣一個青春正茂,穿著訂做長褲,打球猛拉竿,
                                                                               
彈著五月天和拖拉庫的典型帥哥,
                                                                               
他耶。
                                                                               
替人生下了一個,不多不少,
                                                                               
剛剛好的註腳。
                                                                               
                                                                               
根本什麼形容詞也沒有,
                                                                               
但一句話打死,道盡了所有的可能性。
                                                                               
"不就是這麼回事嘛。"
                                                                               
隱隱感覺到的,我心中的不平衡是,
                                                                               
他從哪裡聽到的呢?
                                                                               
這一定不是一個他自己的生活體驗的結果。
                                                                               
更不會是他從哪裡讀到的經典名句。
                                                                               
不只是因為這個句子根本不怎麼經典,
 而是在我典型的刻板裡

這個典型的帥哥,根本不會去讀什麼經典。
                                                                               
                                                                               
在我有事沒事書包裡放著鄭愁予,放著喬治歐威爾和威廉高丁的時候,
                                                                               
這個傢伙大抵也就正忙著參加電賞會,參加某女中社團成發會,
忙著拉竿上籃,或是在鮮嫩粉綠的口唇裡拉舌。
                                                                               
                                                                               
而我,在擠不進去一個得和百多人分享一個尚未鮮嫩圓潤肉體的機會
                                                                               
而暗自嘆氣的同時,
                                                                               
他,
                                                                               
竟然
                                                                               
跟我分享一個充滿智慧的 勝過書本千言萬語,
                                                                               
充滿哲理的話語?
                                                                               
他耶。
                                
                   
                       

                                                                               
這無論如何不是一種駁論啊。
                                                                               
為什麼不該是我跟他分享一點來自鄭愁予或是喬治歐威爾的
充滿哲理的智慧話語呢?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
充滿哲理的話語,不一定被充滿哲理的人所訴說。
                                                                               
                                                                               
這個道理,第一次敲到我頭上。
                                                                               
---
                                                                               
                                                                               
我想,我或許太過按照吳X翔所散發的刻板印象去定義他。
                                                                               
或者,他在回家之後,打開電台聽的是京戲也不一定?
                                                                               
又或者,他在脫下定做的褲子,準備結結實實上一個大號的時候,
                                                                               
翻閱的是亞當斯密的國富論? 尼采的查拉圖斯特拉如是說?
                                                                               
為什麼我就這麼武斷的封鎖了任何五月天音樂和查拉圖斯特拉如是說 之間的可能連結呢?
                                                                               
又,為什麼一定得看尼采亞當斯密叔本華川端康成魯西迪
                                                                               
你才覺得這個人 "有資格跟你說一點什麼人生道理呢"?
                                                                               
難道閱讀是一種品牌嘛?
(或許哪一天,哪一個不識貨的B央怯生生的跑過來說:米蘭昆德拉說啊....)
(你搞不好還優雅的煽他一腦門,
 prada惡魔也似的緩慢語氣你說: 米蘭昆德拉是五分埔!)
                                                                               
就像是他所穿的垮褲,他所彈的音樂一樣?
                                                                               
為什麼人要被這樣的分門別類呢?
                                                                               
                                                                               
我想我一定會被這樣的批評的。
                                                                               
在後來的年歲裡,我和他進了同一個大學,不同的系。
                                                                               
                                                                               
但總是會在不一定什麼場合之下,遇見這位典型帥哥。
                                                                               
                                                                               
像是平行的兩條線。
                                                                               
我和他,在大學時,一定有些彼此同分享的朋友,
                                                                               
而這些朋友們,卻無論如何,不會把我和他做任何一種程度的連結。
                                                                               
好比大學時期的好朋友之一,張大頭小姐,
                                                                               
她大抵是在康輔社或是任何一種掛服務之名行聯誼之實的社團
                                                                               
認識吳X翔的。
                                                                               
但在某天走在路上我和她,
                                                                               
與吳X翔不期而遇的,我和他,
                                                                               
兩人彷彿有默契似的,打了個不尷不尬的招呼。
                                                                               
                                                                               
她驚訝。
                                                                               
                                                                               
我當然也不會告訴她,
                                                                               
這個典型帥哥,是第一個讓我體會到
"充滿哲理的話語,不一定被充滿哲理的人所訴說" 這件事情的人。
                                                                               
那太複雜了。
                                                                               
而在我淺薄刻板的目光裡,
                                                                               
熱愛著 在陳綺貞MV出現的伍姓學長和五月天
                                                                               
的張大頭小姐無論如何是很難理解的。

這是我的刻板。
                                                                               
當然,順著如上邏輯,
                                                                               
我也可能在某年某月某日,與張大頭小姐不期而遇的時候,
                                                                               
聽她蒼白而缺乏血色的口唇中,
或者喔或者,
                                                                               
也會迸出 任何
                                                                               
充滿哲理的話語?
我該這麼期待的吧。
---
                                                                               
而今晚,在太陽業已下山的頭城海邊,
這個理論再一次的被證實了:
                                                                               
充滿哲理的話語,不一定被充滿哲理的人所訴說。
                                                                               
                                                                               
因為你並不會期待,從一個蜘蛛男的口中聽見什麼智慧的話語吧。

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