接下來是解答篇:
                                                                               
                                                                               
一個不怎麼重要的問題的解答。
                                                                               
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先讓我釐清一下,真正發生的事情,以及我所設想的故事。
                                                                               
在我的故事裡:
                                                                               
我花了一整個白天枯坐,冥想,
                                                                               
然後花了一整個晚上寫一整張紙,
                                                                               
紙上都是我的夢想,幻想和妄想。
                                                                               
並且,在預言語氣飽滿的結尾裡
                                                                               
我在隔天 (神采奕奕的 完全不因一整天沒睡而有所精神耗弱)
                                                                               
起了個大清早。前往宜蘭,並且將在當地不知名的海邊撿到一個什麼東西。
                                                   

                                                                               
實際的情況又是怎麼樣呢?
                                                                               
                                                                               
首先,
                                                                               
我在3/30(禮拜五) 查榜之後的隔天(禮拜六),什麼也沒做,
                                                                               
我繼續看DVD,打電動,勉強讀一點該讀的書,
並且還神情愉悅的用msn聊天。
                                                                               
                                                                               
一直到了4/1(禮拜日),那已經是2天之後的深夜,才想到這個坐火車的念頭。
                                                                               
而寫完整篇東西之後的隔天我也並沒有出發,
                                                                               
直到 4/3禮拜二  我才搭上前往宜蘭的火車。
                                                                               
                                                                               
再次證明了,那篇東西是徹頭徹尾的鬼話,
是一篇幻想。
                                                                               
                                                                               
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而我畢竟是真的去了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
為什麼呢?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
原因很簡單。
                                                                               
倒不是當天就真的發生了什麼事情。
                                                                               
                                                                               
相反的,當天什麼狗屁也沒發生。
                                                                               
了不起天氣變冷一點而已。
                                                                               
我安坐家裡,一邊吃弟弟買回來的涼麵,
                                                                               
一邊上網,看我該看的東西。
                                                                               
                                                                               
看著看著,翻到自己前兩天寫就的
                                                                               
                                                                               
"又一篇三流小說的濫開頭"
                                                                               
忽然想到。
                                                                               
                                                                               
"到底會發生什麼事喔?"
                                                                               
這些在我的電腦裡,我的文件夾裡或是我的機華區 部落格裡面的
                                                                               
為數將近數十篇的三流小說的開頭們(再次強調 全都三流!)
                                                                               
由於我從來也沒有任何熱情和毅力去完成它們,
(毋寧說,他們也沒有好到讓我有源源不絕的靈感和毅力去完成~)
那些故事到底接下來會發生什麼事情,
竟是連我這個作者(好個自我恭維!) 也不得而知的。
                                                                               
                                                                               
這些故事,多半都很奇怪,
奇怪到了日常生活未必會有什麼靈感能夠剛好合榫,
                                                                               
(好比我該怎麼完成那個橫跨中國地圖劍客的故事呢?)
                                                                               
(我還有一個故事 是關於靈魂死了之後 隨著骨灰 飄進活人的鼻孔並且從此定居~)
                                                                               
(我總不能去觀落陰吧?)
                                                                               
                                                                               
但這個故事可能不同?
                                                                               
我現在正看著的這篇故事 (邊咀嚼我的涼麵,啜飲 我脅迫弟弟一定要買的味增湯~)
                                                                               
它和我現在所處的現實並無二致。(麵條西哩呼嚕~)
                                                                               
它僅僅是一篇引言,一段感嘆,一些對一段還沒發生旅程的揣測, (咕嘟嘟咕 哈~ 喝湯)
                           
質言之,在這段囉哩八瑣的揣測/引言/揳子裡面
                                                                               
什麼都可能發生,而什麼也都沒有發生。
                                                                               
                                                                               
而這可能正是一個好機會,一個我終於可以走進一個什麼虛假的羅織裡面而
真實的呼吸著的,大好機會。
                                                                               
                                                                               
雖然我這個人,總是一肚子幻想夢想夢遺想念謊話藍圖編織藉口設計想法什麼的
                                                                               
又雖然我可能早就活在我這滿肚子的幻想夢想夢遺想念謊話藍圖編織藉口設計想法裡面
                                                                               
而不自知了。
                                                                               
但這畢竟仍然是個好機會,一個安全,平淡,又不怎麼困難的好機會。
                                                                               
我只需要買一張到宜蘭的車票就行了。
                                                                               
而沒有任何人會因此受到干擾,因為我的謊話/想像。

我看了看時間,13:30。
                                                                               
又看了看剛剛寄到家裡的成績單,
                                                                               
"不錄取" 三字仍然刺眼。
                                                                               
                                                                               
擦了擦嘴巴。
                                                                               
換好衣服,背起書包。
                                                                               
我出發了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
對了,和我所想像的故事不同的是,
                                                                               
我的背包裡沒有水壺,反而多了一本英文版的教父,
                                                                               
(大概是我姑丈年輕時看的吧,一直放在我家裡。)
                                                                               
我總是沒法看完。

                                                                               
帶著或許是想靠著旅程的單調來硬逼自己閱讀。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
更重要的,行囊裡面也沒有故事裡面,那張
把整篇引言的調性搞的 "很有希望" "浪漫至極"(當然是男人的角度)
                                                                               
我所寫的一整張夢想。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
我根本沒寫。
                                                                               
                                                                               
(或許考研究所對我來說就是那麼回事,
                                                                               
一個漸漸消磨意志甚至夢想的過程直至殆盡。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
甚至是夢想也殆盡。)

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